Friday, November 14, 2008

WW #124-- THE IMPOSSIBLE DAY


Or, in a less gentle manner, "The Day of the Penis-Menace!"

Presumably, so this comic could bypass the Comics Code, the menace inside does not appear on the cover, where instead we see the less thrilling spectacle of Wonder Woman balancing younger versions of herself on her head and hands as a fire-breathing dragon burns away the tight rope she's walking. But what about the Penis-Menace? We're rewarded on the splash page, as we see the so-called "Wonder Family" -- Wonder Woman, along with Wonder Girl and Wonder Tot, who are Wonder Woman as a teenager and infant-- along with their mom, Wonder Queen Hippolyta, all spread-eagled in the air after having been rammed by a giant penis with a sinister face. How did this come to be?


Steve Trevor, Wonder Woman's boyfriend, must be like the insecure pretty girl, because he invites his less attractive friend, Diana Prince, on holiday. Spelunking in a cave, they find cave drawings of a dinosaur being lassoed by crude renditions of the Wonder Family. How could humans, let alone Wonder Woman at different ages, be depicted alongside dinosaurs?

Diana (Wonder Woman) Prince muses, "it is impossible... at the same time, it did happen!" She reminisces on the time she and her mother, in answer to "thousands" of letters, devised a way of showing Wonder Woman and her two younger selves in an adventure together. Up until now, we had see Wonder Woman, Wonder Girl, and the newly introduced Wonder Tot in seperate adventures, but with the highly advanced super-Amazon science of film-splicing, the Queen is able to combine countless films of her daughter at various ages so as to create an "adventure" in which all three versions of her daughter appear together.

Film-splicing? What amazing scientists the Amazons have! They've also devised a miniaturized film projector that can be worn as a ring. Sitting in the theatre, the Queen must hold her hand up, completely still, or the film becomes shaky or not seen at all. How futuristic and super-convenient!

Our fabricated story starts with the quartet taking off from a lofty cliff "like gliders" -- as we're reminded, the Amazons do not fly, they drift on air currents. Just off shore of Paradise Island, they witness a nearby nuclear test. You'd think the Queen, with her "Space and Time Projector," which can see any occurence, anywhere, at any time, would have been alerted to the impending disaster, as she has done many times in the past. Nevermind-- the Amazons prevent the fallout from reaching their home by whirling in a circle, drawing the fallout through a rain cloud so as to "wash" it. Yet more Amazon super-science, instructing little girl readers of the 50's and 60's that nuclear fallout could be eliminated through the rinse cycle.




Are the Amazons that simplistic, they think an intrusion from man’s world so easily dispersed? Think again, foolish female—out of the remnants arises the huge phallic menace of “multiple man.” A giant runaway penis, he rams the Amazon family, sending them hurtling into the sea. Finally we get the real answer to how there are suddenly progeny on Paradise Island—those damn men and their damn penises. As the Wonder Family sink to the sea bottom, unconsciously drifting into a giant clamshell that closes about them, giving them shelter-- Yonic Symbol, anyone? --it is Wonder Tot who is roused to the impending danger of penis-menace's approach. In the most hilariously obvious symbolism of a penis charging a vagina, the Amazon babe lifts the clamshell and holds it vertically for the onrushing missle. How the hell did this pass the censors?

Wonder Tot captures the penis within the clamshell-- they must get sex education early on Paradise Island-- then dashes them, together, onto a rock-- bam! Talk about a climax.

But of course, as Eve discovered, you let in one penis, you can't hold back the rushing hordes. Once destroyed, Multiple Man simply takes on another guise, and the story unfolds as a typical Wonder-Family story, with each individual member confronting her own menace. Wonder Girl and her merman boyfriend prevent Multiple Man, as a "molten menace," from boiling the sea, by hurling a cache of convenient treasure chests which happen to be made of lead. He's reduced to a leaden puddle, which Queen Hippolyte fashions into a bracelet, so if Multiple Menace reforms, she'll "be the first to know."

The Queen should have figured something was up when her bracelets had a little man's face on it. Bracelets, of course, are significant in Wonder Woman's mythology, as the bracelets worn by the Amazons are their former shackles, retained so as to remind themselves to never allow themselves to be enslaved again. They also keep the Amazons subservient to Aphrodite, reminding them to always use their strength for good, with the punishment, should they be removed, that their strength becomes uncontrollable and drives them to violence. They become "free to destroy like a man."

Of course, this was the philosophy as intended by Wonder Woman's creator, William Moulton Marston. Marston had been dead for 15 years at this point, and his sucessor, Robert Kanigher, systematically removed all the mythology Marston had created. Still, a neat twist that this time, it's the wearing of a bracelet, not its removal, that drives the Queen mad. Under Multiple Man's baleful influence, she is roused from sleep, knocks aside an Amazon guard, then becomes so enraged at a statue of Athena at the Temple of Astrology, that the towering statue would "look down on a Queen," she hurls the massive statue at the temple, reducing it to ruins.


Realizing she has become a menace, the Queen bids farewell to her sleeping daughters, then asks an Amazon scientest to send her far into the past, where "there will be no one to harm."

When her daughters learn of the Queen's actions, they follow her into the past, just in time to help the Queen from being dragged off the cliff by the bracelet (!). Why is the Queen, who can fly as well as her daughters, suddenly threatened by heights? And why, as the Queen notes, if Multiple Man can "endure forever," and therefore can "terrorize the world of the future," did the Queen drag him into the past in the first place?

And how, if Multiple Man can endure forever, are the Amazons quartet satisfied he has been defeated by a mere lightning bolt? After Multiple Man transforms into a fire-breathing dinosaur, the Amazon family use a tree as a catapult to launch Multiple Man into the midst of a storm cloud, where a "chain of lightning bolts" strike the lasso-bound villain with the "force of an exploding sun." They accept Wonder Woman's assurance that he "no longer threatens the world," then follow a caveman wearing a fur jockstrap into a cave to receive a present when-- zap! --the Amazon scientist returns the quartet before they face any further danger. Maybe she's the only one with a brain, knowing Multiple Man will surely resurrect, and wanted to prevent another endless cycle of adventures.

Multiple Man does return, in future issues, to confront the Wonder Family-- although he never seems as creepy or menacing as in this first appearance. Perhaps he was successfully neutered, for he no longer recites the mantra that makes him so creepy in this story-- "Whatever I want... I take! Whatever stands in my way... perishes! Nothing can stop-- me!" Just like a man! Perhaps, after polluting both the Queen and their sanctuary of Paradise Island, he's already done the bulk of his dirty work.

2 comments:

Carol A. Strickland said...

Hope you don't mind if I linked to this from my site!

karl said...

Very funny....and information useful to know.